She literally danced with a guy, who’s name she didn’t know, and fell in love with him. The insipid Cinderella gives Anastasia advice on love and happiness. If you aren’t already spacing out or counting the ways you would rather die than continue watching the movie, you will come face to face with the worst of the stories. Call me crazy, but might a scared elephant become a worse problem? Sorry, I didn’t mean to apply logic to a children’s movie. Send in the mouse to scare the damn thing into sumission. Never mind trying to tame it, snare it, or put it down. His only use, apparently, is to scare the crap out of a stampeding elephant because, when the king’s life is in danger, the only logical thing is to stick a mouse in front of it. So he wished to become a human only to find out that he is not happy as a man either.
Jaq became dissatisfied with being a mouse. The second story proved that even terrible things can get worse (kind of like Mickey and the Roadster Racersproved there were still lower places in hell than Mickey Mouse Clubhouse). So yeah, the first story just wasn’t drawing me in to the conflict. And the king clearly wanted grandchildren, so it’s doubtful he’d want to get rid of his best shot for that. I’m pretty sure messing up the ball would not be a deal breaker for the prince. I mean, when a guy marries a woman he just met, it isn’t for her winning personality.
Like in the first story, oh no! She didn’t do everything in the traditional way. You wanted to see her freed from her step family’s imprisonment.īut in the sequel, the same stakes just weren’t there. At least in the first movie, you could root for her. She exhibits an irritating level of perkiness and optimism. Then I watched Cinderella II, and I realized, I was mistaken. I didn’t think it was possible for Cinderella to be more insipid. I don’t know who’s dreams they are referring to, but my dreams certainly didn’t come true watching this smoldering dumpster fire. I’m sure of it.Ĭinderella II: Dreams Come True just not for parents. She definitely doesn’t promptly throw it out when the mice aren’t looking. The mice then give the book of stories to Cinderella who of course “loves” the present. Once the last of the three stories is done, the Fairy Godmother binds them into a book. But he wouldn’t be saying she’s a gold digger… but it is a bit strange Cinderella wasn’t messing with a broke bro.Īnyway, Anastasia meets and falls in love with the village baker. If that happened today, I’m pretty sure Kayne West would warn the Prince to demand a prenup. I mean is marrying the first guy you meet, who happens to be a rich prince, really true love? And she really shouldn’t be looking to Cinderella for advice on that. Now that Cinderella is banging the generic looking Prince, Anastasia wants to find true love just like her step sister.Īll I can say is Anastasia really has a skewed view of what true love is. Anastasia is no longer the cruel, vindictive bitch we met in Cinderella. The final story showed that the ugly stepsister, Anastasia, could find true love if she stopped listening to her evil mother’s demands to marry for status. Story 1: Cinderella and the Etiquette Wench Why the Fairy Godmother has time for that nonsense but won’t retell a story she just finished is beyond me.Īnyway, the three stories the mice tell become what I can only loosely describe as the “plots” of the movie.
But she will, for some reason, help them create a magic story book filled with tales of Cinderella’s early days in the castle as she adjusted to Princess life. The main plot, if you can really call it a plot, is that Jaq, the lead mouse that talks funny, and Gus, the, ah, “special” mouse, are late to story time with the Fairy Godmother.īeing a stone cold bitch, she tells them she won’t retell it.
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